Indifferences, failures, deceptions and all other things should be set before Jesus. You can’t keep anything bad in your heart, because it will destroy your life. Forgiveness is the first step to rebuild your life.
Even if you don’t want to do it, put yourself before Jesus and tell him whatever is happening in your life. Tell him about your decision and He will provide you forces to realize it. You will be living under the light.
Perhaps you are striving to live in the sanctity, but you are not getting it because your heart needs to be healed. It happens when our difficulties, our great sins comes up and when we present them to God everything will transform. God is Light God is the Heal.
We were hurt and we hurt too, so that is the moment to seek our cure because cured we can lead our neighbor to the cure too.
”I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from
your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts. I will put
my spirit within you and make you live by my statutes, careful to observe my
decrees. You shall live in the land I gave your fathers; you shall be my
people, and I will be your God. (Ezekiel 36, 26-28)
Your brother,
Monsignor Jonas Abib