What Is the Correct Way to Raise Children?

Worrying signs that parents are not knowing raise children

In the process of educating the children, we cannot guarantee the effectiveness of models, after all, people are different. There are, however, trails to be traveled, which lead to the journey of educating children successfully most of the time.

We found that the parents of other generations also made mistakes, but firmly led their children. In General, there were many directions providing an authoritarian model, but with clear boundaries. In the current education, we observe a democratization of parental power, where children tell what they think, but they are weak in respect for the rights of others.

Sinais preocupantes que os pais não estão sabendo educar os filhosPhoto: Copyright: Juanmonino

Balance in education

In the previous generations’ models, there was the punishment, sometimes violent, but limited. There is a need of disciplining the child so that they understand that life is made with responsibilities and rewards; and when they break something, they will be held accountable for their actions. However, there will be positive acts which may bring compliments. The trick is to balance discipline with rewards, with emphasis on the second, to work the pulse of life that we all have inside of us.

To experience a democratic model, it is necessary to establish rules that often the children don’t like, because they aren’t mature enough to choose. The parents don’t ask if the children want to go to school, because if that happened, they, of course, would prefer to play. To care for and love the children, take them to school and explain, within the comprehension of each one, that in life there are moments for work and for leisure.

Attention to the limits

A caution is important: as the child matures, the limits are more “flexible” towards correct choices. On the other hand, there are parents who give in too much or they allow themselves to be manipulated by the ways of children.

It is important that parents have authority. The maintaining dominance over one’s emotions is a sign that the situation is under control. For example: If the parents yell a lot, they end up giving tips for children as these adults can’t handle pressure.

On Target in the education of children

A difficulty of current education is that parents want to be friends with the children, which is ok, as long as they are not afraid to be parents as is their duty. Or they become slaves, doing for their children and not allowing them to do tasks suitable to their age.

Want to know if you are on target? Listen to your children, talk about feelings and projects. They need to make sure they can count on you to help them, but also know that they will be held accountable if they do not respect the rights of others, fail to comply with their obligations or jeopardize their own happiness.

Ângela Abdo

Ângela Abdo is coordinator of the Group of mothers who pray for the children of St. Camillus of Léllis Parish Espiritu Santo and assists in the study of the National Guide to RCC. She acts as curator of the Foundation Nossa Senhora da Penha and leads workshops on strategic planning and people management to pastoral leadership.

Abdo is a graduate in Social work by UFES and postgraduate in human resources administration and business management. Has a master’s degree in accounting from Fucape. Acts as a consultant on small, medium and large private and public sector companies as quality and human resources Advisor and as a social worker of the CST (workers Solidarity Center). Is current President of ABRH (Brazilian Association of human resources) of the Espiritu Santo and Director, Manager and counselor of Vitória Apart Hospital.

Portuguese version