There are two types of kayaking. One is the individual in which the person rises, holding the oars and rows. The other is the double kayak. In this, one does not go alone. It was made for two persons. In the double kayak, the synchronization of the oars is the most important. Nor before one rows well and the other rows bad. If one rows and the other does not row or one rows fast and the other slow. The kayak sinks, This play of forces without synchronization makes the kayak go in circles.

Marriage is a double kayak. If God calls you to marriage, there is no other route but synchronized rowing. It needs the man and the woman walking in sync. They need to learn this. And many times you are going to need to be taught. One teaches the other. But both need to learn. It is the only route of bringing to the front the kayak of marriage.

If you, woman, already are further in the process of sanctification, know that before going forward as in the Corrida of Sao Silvestre”. Your vocation is to walk in the double kayak. It is to be in sync, it is to teach your husband to row with you together. Your function is to prepare that he also learns and enters the rhythm. You need to begin this process with your husband, slowly, doing enough training, until he develops the habits and you acquire synchronization.

In the marriage, holiness, the way of God, is conquered by both. Men, it is the hour to leave behind your cowardice. Row with your women, for they already are rowing enough alone. The boat was made for both of you unfortunately, not both have assumed their responsibilities. No more saying: My wife already goes to the Church prays and receives communion, she tells her sins and mine to the priest. I do not even need to confess” This is no excuse. You needs qo also assume your road of holiness. There is no other route.

Mary was holy because Joseph was very holy. And at the same time (this is beautiful) Joseph was holy because Mary was very holy. The image of the Holy Family, brought from Rome that we have in our chapel, is asking unity from top to bottom, not having division. This accurately describes that which the family of Nazareth was. They are one trunk loved by God. One formed as Joseph, the other formed as Jesus, but the three are one united trunk. And you cannot have Mary full of grace without Joseph full of God! And you cannot have Joseph and Mary without Jesus, Son of God.

For the disposition, you cannot have Jesus who was man, Savior of humanity without Joseph and without Mary. And equally, it is impossible to have Joseph and Mary without Christ. In his house it is the same thing. The members of his family need to be one unit, with our image of the Holy family. and they need to be saints. The wife should be holy in order to make the husband holy. The husband should engage himself in the sanctification of his wife.

Monsignor Jonas Abib

From the book “Homem e mulher em sintonia”

translated from Portuguese