[William Jackson is a Deacon Candidate for the Archdiocese of Boston. He was given the assignment to respond to the issue in italics. His words are the answer. His teacher enjoyed his answer and I felt it would be a good one to share not only with the US Community, but also the Spanish and Portuguese Communities that Canção Nova serves. -ed.]

What is the response to this situation:

It really is not okay.  Let me explain why.  Your body and your girlfriend’s body is a gift, a temple made by and for the Lord that is to be respected by both of you.  Sex is a gift from God; it is what we do with that gift that we come to understand what is wrong with having random sexual activity.  Sex can be looked at, keeping it simple, as a means of pleasure, release.  This concept is good if we follow the moral order.  We need to think about what comes first.  You and your girlfriend should enjoy a period of courtship, getting to know each other, finding out whether or not you are a compatible couple.  You should treat your body and your girlfriend’s body as sacred.

Let’s get down to brass tacks.  There are steps in every relationship.  Sex should be the last step.  We get to know each other, we court, we enjoy the newness of a relationship, that special smile, that glance, that feeling of being safe, dinners together, looking forward to being with that special person on Saturday night, date night, which hopefully leads to falling in love, getting engaged, and with God’s grace, receiving the sacrament of marriage.

When you save yourself for marriage, you save yourself on so many fronts.  The moral order is not disturbed.  You know each other, because you took the time to court your girlfriend, fell in love and made a commitment to be with each other for life, ie, the sacrament of matrimony.   Children will then be born into a family consisting of a mom and a dad that are in love, whose love makes a home for themselves and their children.  Just look around and see all of the single parents who do not follow a moral code, so to speak, who had children out of wedlock.  The child’s parents are not together and usually the “feelings” they had for each other wanes, if not disintegrates over a period of time.  Why?  There is no commitment.  Every child deserves a mother and a father that love each other.  This love between a mom and a dad overflows to their children, making a family!

Be careful with what your conscience is telling you, because sometimes it is not your conscience, but a little devil sitting on your left shoulder whispering in your ear, “It is okay.”  Remember Adam and Eve!  So if you are not ready to commit yourself to these basic but powerful truths, the moral order, keep your zipper closed.

William Jackson
Deacon (Cand.)
St. Benedict Parish
Somerville, MA