When the Husband Is Unfaithful

Lord my God, in our marriage, we promised each other to be faithful for all our lives and all was before you altar, there was the priest, our best man and maid of honor as witnesses, our family, our invited guests, despite all of this… my husband was unfaithful.

I remain shocked, furious, I feel insulted, humiliated, devastated and inconsolable. I don’t know what I can do now? Do I fight, scream, do I hurt, do I separate or ask for divorce? It is as if a bomb exploded before me. I saw the collapse of my interior castle, my confidence, my assurance, my will to live, I even lost all will to be a woman, and of living my family life. It appears that I lost all feeling, I am empty  mixed with despair, anger, hatred, in the miserable mixture of love and hate.

It is the worst of feelings, Lord, I remain imagining when Judas betrayed you, he was unfaithful to you, also when Peter denied you three times, I would like to have in my heart the same love that you have, the same compassion, but I am so broken, I am in great need of your grace for this moment so painful in my life. I need your strength to not fall into vengeance and payback, or throwing all in the sky and disappearing.

I am reminded of this unfortunate incident as adultery, as prostitution with my husband, even to destroying my marriage, thinking that he is going to be happy? Thinking that destroying a home is going to be happy? Not seeing that he is starting a relationship completely wrong and destructive. Give me grace, Lord, of knowing how to pardon this sadness, this indignity, for perhaps she was deceived by my own husband pretending to be single, in this case both were betrayed.

If we decide not to separate, I will live in the mistrust of every phone call, email, overtime, or even for whatever motive that he arrives late in house. How am I going to move forward, how am I going to kiss him, or even have a sexual relationship with him? I know that it will not be as before, this mark will remain in my heart, even that I may forgive him, that I may reconcile with him, thus have my family, my friends, the persons that I invite in my house, I know that I am going to receive a lot counseling, including some that I may separate and be more faithful to God that I forgive…give me Lord this grace of the best decision.

If it is necessary that I seek counsel with my priest and if my husband wants to go as well, in order that together we may discover that we may hear what went wrong that this happened and that we may be able, after this, to reconstruct our life together.

Come Lord illuminate our decisions. But if he refuses? Perhaps I can go alone and the priest counselor can indicate to me a road to follow or to a support group. I want to leave the door open for reconciliation. I want to think of my family before the hurt to my ego through infidelity. I want to open the doors of my heart to you Lord, that you know better the steps of forgiveness and of reconcilation, that you know to trust always, for in you there is no lack of trust, for your love is always in us, your bond and love never will be broken.

Give me confidence of your holy women, of the virtuous women that enriched their house and home. Expel from my house, from my family all evil spirits of adultery and prostitution, I do not want this evil in my house, but that my home may be blessed and fill with grace.

From the blog of Father Vager Baia

translated from Portuguese