I believe that a true love, that love that envelopes us and that we arrive to the conclusion that it is for the whole life begins in a true friendship. For one can only love whom he knows. And in friendship we need to spend time, to water it with our effective presence in the life of the other and to help him/her.

A friend completes the other, even when there are many differences. The friendship of a man and of a woman does not escape this rule. It is necessary to spend time. However, inside of this fraternal relationship we see ourselves so involved that we begin questioning: Is it that I am in love with my friend? Is it that what I feel is more than simple friendship?

First thing: Be calm! It is normal for this to happen in a friendship between the man and the woman there are such confused feelings, because we are affectionate beings, or maybe, beings that may possess emotions and feelings and, this affects us. I cannot separate myself, saying now with my friend that I am not going to bring my affection nor my needs. There is no way! We are integrated beings, therefore, we have emotions, feelings, cares, pains, joy, sadness…

When this confusion brings itself in our interior it is necessary to stop, return to yourself and with God go to your most intimate self without fear where you are going to encounter and question yourself: what do I like in this friend? Make a list. After question yourself anew: what do I like in her as a woman (or him as a man)? Make another list.

This is a joy that cannot be done in one day. for whomever is leading is God. He is going to show you this list. Therefore, this is an exercise that needs to be done with much prayer and intimacy with God, for He is a friend that counsels us in the most confusing moments of our inside. Know that our Lord in this trajectory is going to cure you of many wounds or illusions that bring in your history. Therefore, this trajectory is only for whomever has the courage to encounter himself with the help of God.

If in the end of this road, you discover that this courtship is the will of God, do not be afraid  of losing this friendship, wanting to turn away from it. On the contrary it was God himself that was preparing this courtship all this time. Do you remember that I said that a true love begins with a profound friendship? God only prepares all without you noticing. He brings your love through the way of a true friendship.

Rui Junio dos Santos
Canção Nova Community
@junioae
facebook/ruijunio

translated from Portuguese