Masculinity: Understand what it is to be a real man


It is possible to be a real man, who expresses courage, emotion and responsibility

I know that many of us men tend to be more practical, to seek solutions to problems instead of getting involved in them and talking about them. Sometimes we go into our ‘box of nothingness’ to survive.Yes, ‘box of nothing’. “Hey, what are you thinking?” “Nothing.” “Did I do something to you?” “Nothing.”Nothing is nothing at all. It makes us live life more freely, but that our ‘secret from nothing’ does not prevent us from getting involved in what it’s worth! Real man expresses power and mercy. Courage and excitement!

I’m impressed by Jesus’ way. He was a friend, who encouraged and taught the disciples, he was a Father to them and to the people. Jesus sometimes laughed with them, went to the parties with the crowd, but also stomped his foot on issues where even the closest disciples disagreed. It was firm when needed and He knew how to put it in each of the situations.

Photo by kieferpix by Getty Images

Man is protective

We like to protect what is sacred and important to us, especially women. We have a desire to give our life to the point of pain! Just look at most of the heroes that have been created by our imagination, literature and movies. They give their lives for love. How do we gives our lives this way? I remember here what Spider-Man’s uncle told him in the first film before he was murdered: “Great powers require great responsibility.” That’s right! The “power” given to us of being men has as an attachment, great responsibilities. Are you willing to take them?

Remember when you were a kid and played with your little car, which always transported you to other realities. My first car was an ambulance, which turned on the front lights and made the siren noise. I always thought, “Get out, get out of the way, I have to get to the hospital.” This desire for protection and responsibility is part of us men. Even though I have forgotten those times, that feeling is in my memory.


It takes a real man

Deep down in the heart, the woman really wants a man who makes her happy and cares for her. The world is telling us to enjoy life now and worry about serious things later. But our heart does not work that way. Every bit of masculinity in us protests against it! God created us to be warriors, to fight for what is right and for true love. This is not a dream.

I remember the scene from the film ‘Real Steel’, in which Charlie gives his son, Max, to the care of his sister-in-law for not being able or willing to educate him. I was literally fleeing the fight! It is very clear that the boy already loved him and wanted to be with him. The father (Charlie) then indignantly says, “You know I can not take care of you. I’m not what you deserve. What do you want me to do?”. At that time, with eyes full of tears, Max says something that took my breath away: “I just wanted you to fight for me.”

We are free, rational men, with one foot on the earth and the other in eternity; We have the intelligence to influence, direct and shape this world, making it worthwhile. What is your response to this proposal? What is your fight? Where to start over?

Our masculinity is not enclosed in our manly body, but in our whole being. You can not think that the man is that ‘ogre’ who does not know how to be brave and at the same time cozy. Is it not ironic that one day the world has been asked to choose its answer from these two visions of man?

On the day of Jesus’ trial before Pilate, two models of man were presented: Jesus, the revolutionary of love, a man of courage and emotion, a lion and a lamb; And Barabbas, a revolutionary and fighter who killed for a personal cause. “Bar Abbas”, which in Hebrew means “the son of the father”.

Whom did the people choose?

Before the people gave the answer, Pilate tried to show who, in fact, was a true man: Ecce Homo ! This is Man! That’s what he said. But they did not choose Jesus, on the contrary, they killed Him!

I tried to show the man model we need to spread, but the answer is yours, man! So which model are you going to follow? Inside of you, who will stay alive? Jesus or Barabbas?

Adriano Gonçalves

Adriano Gonçalves dos Santos is a member of the Canção Nova Community. He graduated in Philosophy and Psychology. He works on TV Canção Nova as host of the  Revolução Jesus [Jesus Revolution] program.

Portuguese version