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Jul 102018

Often many lack maturity to overcome obstacles and differences in dating

Dating is a beautiful phase of life, in which two souls meet in the desire to realize the deep yearning for one day to live for one another, to beget children and to be happy. It is a longing that God has placed in the heart of every man and woman; however, this beautiful time can turn into a sad step in the lives of many who do not know how to face their problems with courage and wisdom. These problems should not discourage those dating , as many of them can be avoided if, before they start dating, they have a good reciprocal knowledge, obtained by a good friendship before dating.

When I wrote the book ‘Namoro‘ [Dating], I had the feeling that it would not be read by young people, because in it I speak of responsible dating, without sexual life among others. But I was wrong. It was a great surprise for me and a great joy to see, after so many years, that, of all the books I have written, this is the most read by them.

What are the main questions that arise in dating

Illustrative Photo: LittleBee80 / by Getty Images

My wife and I received hundreds of letters and emails from young people asking us for guidance on dating, engagement and their problems. That’s why we wrote ‘Problemas No Namoro‘ [Problems in Dating], an attempt to complete the first book on this subject and bring a little more thought and guidance on the most common problems that arise in the life of those in a courtship.

We analyzed more than a thousand letters and e-mails from young people reporting their problems and asking for guidance; From these testimonies, we write this work. We think that, by answering these questions, we can give a more objective and direct word to young people.

How to live the dating time?

We are deeply concerned about the lack of maturity that exists in courtship and engagements; many of which only turn into sexual relationships , often leading to pregnancy, abortion, or even an immature marriage that lasts only a short time. This is causing the family to fall apart, the children are running out of parents, and their education and education are being harmed.

The problems in dating , naturally, arise, because two different people suddenly meet and start a walk together. This walk is not always easy. There are many problems: betrayal , difference in religion, difficult relationship with parents, age difference, doubts about the other person, disagreements and fights in dating , different temperaments, doubts and insecurities in dating, relationships too long or too short, jealousy, boyfriend’s family, age differences, dating traumas, dating and religion, religion difference, single parent or dating, dating someone who has already been married, online dating , dating, dating , sex and more.


Many are the questions: Who to date? Can the boyfriend of my dream be the boyfriend I have? When to date? How to date? Staying and dating? Should I continue my courtship? Why do not I have a boyfriend? When to get married?

These are some of the problems that hundreds of young people have told us about and that we have been able to analyze in 14 chapters of the book. As I said, it is normal for problems to arise during this [dating] period; because it is the stage in which each one will know the other and this is not always easy. From this knowledge comes the great decision to continue or not the relationship, which may turn into marriage in the future.

From Dating to Marriage

If there are insurmountable impasses, the couple should not insist too much on continuing the courtship and enter the road to a marriage at any cost. This can be destructive to the lives of both. The problems must be faced with lucidity, courage, honesty and, above all, with sincerity.

The essential values ​​of each can not be overlooked; you can not give them up, especially when it comes to moral and religious values .

Every marriage is a courtship that worked ; and this only happens when there is a convergence of the essential values ​​of each one. Therefore, in front of them, one can not “cover the sun with the sieve”. If the obstacle is insurmountable, the relationship can cease, the friendship can be maintained and each one go on a new journey.

On the other hand, if the divergences are secondary, to problems that can be corrected with presence and love, this must be done and it is very beautiful. The greatness of a dating is measured especially by the ability of each to make the other grow. This is already a marriage training for the two.

Translation: Subscribe to the Canção Nova YouTube Channel


Felipe Aquino

Professor Felipe Aquino is a widower, father of five children. In TV Canção Nova, presents the program “School of Faith” and “Ask and Answer”, Radio presents the program “In the Heart of the Church”. In the weekends prega deepening meetings throughout Brazil and abroad. He wrote 73 books of Catholic formation by the publishers Cléofas, Loyola and Canção Nova. Page of the teacher: Twitter: @pfelipeaquino

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