Connecting Is Not Always Committing

It is common to say that the great difficulty in our homes and in our relationships in general is communication or lack thereof.

We have lived a reality that seems so contradictory, but it is wide open for those who want to see and feel their reflexes. We have all the means of communication at hand: open TV, pay-TV, full-feature mobile, chats, blogs, microblogs, websites and radio. We could list so many means of communication , but I invite you to think a little more about this.

Connecting is not always about compromising

Illustrative photo: Daniel Mafra /

Given so many media, do you think you have communicated better or worse with your work buddy, your child, your wife, or your friend ? Have you noticed that matters were best resolved when we did not have so much technology ? I have the feeling that the media has led us to isolation. I do not mean the advantages of so much technology, after all, we are talking here through the internet, but I mean the quality of what we communicate.

Do you know that super-chat that you had on social networks , that was misinterpreted by the other party and generated a fight? Have you lived through this? Yeah…. I think we’ve all lived through this. And that photo you posted and generated a huge disagreement between you and your family , for example?

The great invitation at this time is the need to retake a real, close, human space of communication where we can look into each other’s eyes. We need to communicate not only what “comes out of our mouth”, but also to value “what comes out of our mouths . “

Read more: 
.: The children’s exhibition on the internet 
.: The day the internet stopped 
.: In times of social networks, how to maintain a friendship physically? 
.: Gossip steals the scene of what is essential

Links are to computer generated translations via Google from Portuguese. 

Often, we are living in situations where the way we communicate has driven us away or even not been valued, because we have more urgent things: time at work consumes us, we multitask things while we talk about a serious matter and we do not perceive the lack of investment in quality conversation time.

How much longer will we allow our communication to be disposable, superficial, imprecise, disqualifying, and even more so to allow disagreements with the people who are closest to us? Is that your “friend” of the social network really your friend ?

Of course we live in a world full of stimuli, and this easily isolates us, but some tips can help us in the challenge of communication with quality:

Tips for communicating with quality

1) Take time to talk;

2) When you talk, create a space that enables active listening, that is, the listening that allows the eyes contact, the empathy (that is, the ability to put oneself in the other’s place), the quality of time and not only the talk time (we can have 5 minutes of chat, but if it is with quality, it’s costs for 1 hour);

3) Create moments of family time;

4) Establish a set time for access to social networks: make the exercise of being in personal contact with the other;

5) When in communication, avoid external distractions (TV, radio, do something else while speaking etc) and internal distractions (for example, when we worry about what they will think of us, we already focus the conversation);

6) Set your judgment aside: Communicate by openly listening to someone who talks to you.

We are led to live an individual and parallel world, having the sensation that life is fast and fleeting.This sensation is due, in part, to the rapid expansion of the virtual world . Connecting is not always about compromising. However, it is the commitment that consolidates relationships and it is this that makes our affective, family and social bonds solid, mature and open to quality communication, which leads us to approach and not to isolation. Relationships go beyond a connection, a disconnect and a blockage. We have the great challenge of growing in our relationships!

Here’s the invitation: What have you done to improve communication in your relationships?

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