How to live with someone of difficult temperment?

The difficulties and challenges of living with people who have a difficult temperament
No person can be taxed by the most obvious characteristic, that is, we can not judge someone just by having a strong temperament. When we think about certain behaviors and situations, we soon remember the moments when we can not deal with certain types of people because of the characteristics they have.
People considered “difficult” will be found everywhere: at work, at school, in the family, in the community, among our friends, and in the social life we ​​will always meet people with whom we will have some or many difficulties.

Illustrative photo: Wesley Almeida /
What they popularly call a “strong temper,” may reveal a determined person, firm in their purpose, but also someone who can hinder relationships, be hard on their thoughts, and often someone who may have barriers in their group relationships. Our temperament brings characteristics inherited from our parents. If this “our seasoning” is strong, we soon remember that you can have a dose of “pepper”, “salt” and many other flavors.
Ask for help and help someone with a strong temperament.

No person can be taxed by the most obvious characteristic, that is, I can not judge someone just by having a strong temperament. But how to help and be helped in such cases?
In everyday relationships, we learn to perceive people and deal with their behaviors. The first point we can think of is: “Does this person have any behavior that annoys me because it looks like something to me?” Are you a difficult person too? Then try to notice yourself, put aside the accusations and watch yourself better. By realizing your values, your way of acting and perceiving the world, many things can be cleared.

Of course, people who are bad-tempered, of negative attitudes, who only criticize or for whom the world is always bad, do not cooperate when they are living with others.
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Learn to understand people
With such a person, it is important that we be assertive, that is, that we be clear in adequately saying the behaviors of it that harm that environment. When we leave the fact aside, they can “grow up,” and when we realize, the whole relationship can be lost. Do not “fall into the game”. You can have a strong temper too and easily irritate yourself and even feed that embarrassing situation. Calm down, look at the situation rationally and give a different answer.

Understanding how the other person thinks also helps a lot. Try to think before you say, do not react impulsively. When a situation is very difficult, sometimes it is better to go back and talk when both are calmer.

Do not be sponge
I like a quote from Father Joãozinho that says: “We need to live like ducks, not sponges. Ducks have a gland that distributes oil on their feathers to make them waterproof. After they dive, they shake their feathers and are ready for another. Everything stays out of them, neither the water nor the dirt hits them. On the other hand, when we live as a sponge, we absorb everything that people tell us and we end up becoming complex, full of resentment. ”
Patience and benevolence are powerful instruments that we need to remember for a good relationship with our family, children, friends, work, community, school. Let’s think about it!


Elaine Ribeiro dos Santos

Elaine Ribeiro, Clinical Psychologist at USP – University of São Paulo, acting in the city of São Paulo and Cachoeira Paulista. Neuropsychologist and Organizational Psychologist, is a collaborator of the Canção Nova Community.
Website: www.elaineribeiropsicologia. com
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