Whomever knows himself and accepts himself is the one who is humble, do not be afraid of making a mistake. Why? Because, if, after pondering prudently, your decision and still you commit a mistake, this is not surprising, for you know that it is proper of our limited condition. St. Francis de Sales spoke in a way very expressive. “Why is it surprising that misery is miserable?”

I remind myself still of the day that I was going to Perdizes there in São Paulo [Location of the Pontifical Catholic University of São Paulo-ed.] to give my first class in the Faculdade Paulista de Direito. I was going over the material and repeating concepts and ideas. I was nervous; I did not know what impression my words would have upon those students unknown to me. And what if they asked me a question and I did not know how to respond? and If in the middle of my exposition what if I forgot the sequence of ideas?

I entered the hall tense with an artificial smile. I began to speak, concerned of what I would say, I did not even look at the face of the students. I  spoke for forty-five minutes continuously without interruption, without consulting my notes once.

I perceived, therefore, a certain distancing of the “group”, a certain respect. A female student, very communicative and intelligent, perhaps to overcome the distance created between the group and the professor came close to me and complimented me: “Congratulations, Professor. What a memory. You did not consult your notes once. It was quite interesting.

I took a breath, but, not confident, I said: “you understood what  I said?” Admiring my question, she unexpectantly smile, grinning, she confessed to me: “I understood little, and from what I saw, the ‘group’ understood even less.”

The lesson was clear: “I gave the talk for me and not for them. I gave the talk to demonstrate that I was capable, but not to teach.” It lacked spontaneity, empathy, I did not pause once, nor did I ask a question. It was academically perfect, as a beautiful cadaver. It was a failure.

I remember also that when I left that class, I made the decision to try to be more humble, of preparing a schema more simple, of losing my fear of making a mistake, this fear that left me so tense and so tired; from thinking more of myself than my students and less of the image that they could make of me. And if they asked me a question that I did not know how to answer, what would I say? I would say the truth that I needed to study the question more calmly and in the next class I would respond to them. So simple.

What tranquility I had to go to the class the following day! And the students were thankful upon seeing my attitude much looser, less inhibited and more sympathetic. A lesson that I had to learn many times over my life as professor and priest: Simplicity and transparency and spontaneity are the best remedy for tension and timidity and the recourse most efficient in order that our words and our desires of doing well may have an echo.

We do not look at the pupils as if they were a mirror, in which one reflects our own image. We are not waiting for a response taht this mirror may be able to give to us to the question that our vanity formulates continually: “What  do you think of me? Do you like what I did?” All this is rickety, decadent and filled with the mildew of self “I” immobilized and retracted, inhibited and lacking in spontaneity. Let us lose the fear of error and we will make less mistakes.

Archbishop Rafael Llano Cifuentes

Archbishop Emeritus of  Nova Friburgo, Rio De Janeiro, Brazil

translated from Portuguese