It has been a month now that I have struggled with a pulled muscle in my leg. My physical therapist tells me it will be another month. This is painful, but there is little I can do about it besides follow the doctor’s orders and take my ibuprofen. I love trains, but have not been able to walk to the station. I have used a cane everyday and need it to celebrate mass. But, there is another side to this that is interesting. I am more relying on God. 

Such a disability is scary. How long will it take to heal? What if it does not? What if this is permanent? 

The issue here is to trust in God at all times. What if all goes wrong, God will not leave me and I will be in His hands. Yet, I also take Bishop Fulton Sheen’s admonition not to waste suffering and to offer it up and join my sufferings with others. There is also St. Rose’s statement, “If people knew how much there sufferings led them closer to God, they would ask for more of them.”

This has also led me to further understand the bible. Many times we see of people seeking healings from Jesus, but we forget, medicine was primitive and suffering brought not only disability, but loss of political power. When people went to Jesus for healing, they went because they could not find healing elsewhere and they became ostracized in society. Jesus restored not only health but integrity of the body. Yet, injury does lead one not only to seek healing, but to recognize limitations and rely more on God. 

We have two steps with injury, bitterness or trust. Bitterness turns us in and laments of what could have been. Trust turns us out and leads us to where God is leading us. We everyday have a choice to follow one way or the other. Relying on God and trusting in him with our struggles is one way. Turning from Him for making us disabled is another. One leads to light, the other leads to darkness, we have that choice everyday no matter what our struggle. Which do you choose?