There is a beautiful tale of Lygia Fagundes Telles, “Venha ver o pôr do sol” [Come watch the sunset], which brings an ever-present reflection on the meaning of love and relationship between lovers.

Numerous studies point to the cowardice of men as an important indicator of violence against women. Recently, the press trumpeted as a frightening: that every two minutes, five women are beaten in Brazil. In most cases, the beatings and deaths occur after some time together. They are committed, most often by boyfriends, their husbands, lovers – by peers, finally. Then come stepparents, parents, siblings and the like as responsible. The home, which should be a place of harmony and coexistence, becomes a stage for war.

Last week, television pictures showed a young couple, ex-lovers in an elevator. The boy tried to kill the girl for not agreeing with the breakup. The scene is a shocking cruelty. Kicks, punches and a belt used to strangle her. The “bully” used to love to justify action. Could not live without the ex-girlfriend. His love was too great.

Is this love? The boy could not live without her or could not tolerate the fact of being “abandoned”?

In the tale of Lygia, the woman decides to end the relationship. And the man invites her to accompany them, together, one last sunset. She accepts, because he had a history with her and would not like that things would end in an unpleasant way. He, strangely, marks the meeting in a cemetery, where they could better address the sunset. And there, the two go, talking, among the graves.

The tale is filled with metaphors. The characters are among the dead. And so, in this climate, the man invites the woman to go alone in a mausoleum. She agrees. She does not want to hurt him. It is worth reading the tale to follow the outcome of the story.

Who loves does not do harm and does not accept aggression. Women victimized by violence have great difficulty, unfortunately, in denouncing her male companions. They stay imagining how complicated it is to see the father of their own children in prison. They make excuses for aggressive actions, not in a few cases, they witnesses a final tragedy. As in the story.

Love, definitively, is not a road to the grave. You can contemplate a sunset, but with hope…

Gabriel Chalita

born in Cachoeira Paulista, Brazil, Gabriel Chalita holds a Ph.D. in Philosophy and is the former Secretary of Education for Sao Paulo State, Brazil.

Translated from Portuguese