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Aug 182016

Root of the divorce is in the hardness of heart and fights over little things

Marital relations are in crisis, because each person wants their own happiness, and couples today are getting a divorce for any reason.

The root of the divorce is the “hardness of heart”. But today Jesus wants to speak to the families that the divorce happens first in the hearts of the couples.

I’m going to tell you a story I heard, whose author is unknown:

The man behind the counter, looked the way distracted, while a little girl approached the store, she dented the nose against the glass of the window. Their eyes the color of the sky, brightened when he saw the given object. She went into the store and asked to see the necklace of turquoise blue.

“It’s for my sister. You can make a pretty package?”

The store owner looked suspicious to the little girl and asked her:

“How much money do you have?”

Without hesitation, she took from her pocket a handkerchief  all all tied up and was undoing the knots. She placed it on the counter, and happily said:

“This is enough isn’t it? (There were only a few coins she exhibited proud.) “You know,” she continued, “I want to give this gift to my older sister. Since our mother died, she takes care of us and has no time for herself. Today is her birthday and I’m sure she will be happy with the necklace that is the color of her eyes.”

“The man went into the store. Put the necklace in a box, wrapped with a garish red paper and used a fancy lace with a Green Ribbon.”

“Take this!” He said to the girl. “Take care of yourself.”

She left happy skipping down the street. I wasn’t a full day that passed when a beautiful young woman with blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes entered the store. She put onto the counter the opened package he gave to the younger girl earlier she asked: “This necklace was purchased here?”

“Yes, Ma’am”

“And how much it cost?”

“Oh! Said the owner of the shop. The price of any product from my store is always a confidential matter between the seller and the customer.”

The girl continued: “But my sister just had a few coins. And this necklace is real, isn’t it? She wouldn’t have money to pay for it.”

The man took the case, remade the package with extreme care, put the tape and returned it to the young woman. “She paid the highest price that anyone can afford. She gave it everything he had.”

Silence filled the small shop, and tears rolled by the face of the young woman, while she took the package with her hands. She returned home…

You are capable of doing anything for your family? You have to give everything you have for it. So you got married? Why are you engaged? What motivates you to join this woman or that man?

Wife, find time to look into the eye of your husband and tell him you love him. This isn’t just for “brand new” couples; This is characteristic of the family. I hope nobody “dies” in your home. I hope you don’t fall asleep next to a corpse.

If things are bad for your family, choose to walk the true path that is Jesus. He shouts to our hearts: “your family is good, your marriage is good”. God believes in your family, God believes in you, in your story. Stop being silly! Walk the road and don’t forget that the way is Jesus; If you want your family to be happy, give it to him.

Couples, break the hardness of heart, love, because there’s still time! Love your children while you can because they will grow. This is the right time, time to give attention to them. Break the hardness of heart. I ask you today: return to your homes without fear, the way is Jesus.

There is solution for your family, and it begins in your heart. Stay on the path, because you and your home are of the Lord “.

Original Portuguese Text produced from preaching in Jan. 2006

Jun 182014

'Noah and His Ark' by Charles Willson Peale, 1819The Lord calls us to leave the mindset that the world teaches and the televisions broadcast, to be the rebuilders of this ark of salvation which is the family, on solid foundations. Not built on sand, or in selfishness, but in love for God. This means giving, delivery, pain …

No act of love is more beautiful than to reproduce, even when it hurts us! Love is painful as childbirth!

There are women who spend their whole pregnancy almost at rest, at the risk of losing the baby. But when the child is born, what joy! Even with suffering, love generates a unique joy.

God invites us to be builders of our house. He himself shows us the means: the Word of God, prayer, the divine commandments, suffering accepted with love. A house built on the rock that is God.

Our world applauds those living in infidelity, adultery in, and induces us to do the same. Our families are violently assaulted.

God wants to save you and your whole family. You are the Ark that God chose to rebuild the ark, which is your home.

Your brother,

Monsignor Jonas Abib
Founder of the Canção Nova Community


Apr 042014

Do not feed behaviors and do not bring immorality into your marriage nor your home.

pe_rogerGod does not call us to impurity, but to holiness. Therefore, to despise this precept is not to despise man, but God who gave us the Holy Spirit.

The Word calls us to attention on the vigilance that we need  to have for holiness in the middle in what we live, in the Church where we are.

The parable of the 10 virgins, shows us 5 who are prudent, those that are watching, caring for themselves, caring for their body, their soul and their spirit, their personal discipline. And five imprudent those that are led by the time, letting things happen and not caring for themselves.

The Word calls us to live holiness, because that is the will of God. He wants us to flee from every form of impurity. speaking directly to those that are married, holiness needs to be lived in marriage.

What vigilance should the married have? Those that are called to live married love, that they may not have a duplicitous life, neither the man nor the woman. They do not feed feelings, they do not feed behaviors, they do not carry impurities, immoralities inside of their married, inside of their home.

Be careful with pornography, be careful with immoral thing that come from diverse channels that want to cast out purity from what is holy: Marriage according to the will of God.

Single and married, chastity and purity are ideals of life and are not easy to live. Therefore, vigilance needs to be done by all of us.

Today, God reminds us that we are the place where the divine lives. He tells us that we cannot fool anyone. We cannot feed feelings for someone if you cannot commit to him, do not feed hope when you cannot bring it to completion.

That God remove from life of those that are called to holiness of marriage all forms of duplicity, error, and danger of adultery. And I also say, that none of us that are the Church can find ourselves falling into this temptation.

We are first invited to be vigilant in this sense, in order that we may not be the cause of anyone falling.

Lord, keep us in purity and in holiness.

God Bless You

Fr. Roger Araujo

translated from Portuguese

Sep 022013

Open relationships are becoming a way in society. Principally, for those that do not want to assume a stable and definitive commitment, with the argument of not wanting to hurt their “autonomy and freedom.”

The person has a relationship of total convenience – open. The couple lives under the same roof, but they are free in order that each one may life his/her life privately and economically, as their inclusive wantonness with other partners.

To exemplify, in this context of secularlism, there exists a way in the middle class, in which the couples frequent “Swing Houses” – places in which the couple have various forms of sex with others. This is only an example of the  banalization of sexuality that has driven persons to true aberrations that cause great pains inside of the example of the family in society.

Finally, the total freedom and the open relationships in the family is a false autonomy of the a world without God that tries to be creative, but falls in the desgrace of being slave to sin, for an empty life without meaning. The person without God will always be a slave of a false liberty.

Strong Hug!

Ademir Costa


translated from Portuguese

Oct 052011

Omitting the truth can be costly.

You can imagine how difficult a rupture is in a relationship. Just look at how the separations are painful and leave deep scars on spouses and on children. Many of these spousal separations are fruits of the sin: lying situations, unruliness, separation from God, aggressiveness, disrespect; words of one offense to another and so on

It is necessary to break with sin and not to break with the relationship. The sin needs to be extirpated from the relationship.  All the corrupts what God created through love cannot be made part of our lives anymore. I see that the sin most subtle is the one that most destroys relationships which is lying. Lying fools the other or even omits something and can be costly, because it hurts the dignity of the other person and risks confidence and faithfulness. Choosing the road of not speaking the truth, even it may be in small things, is to choose betrayal of confidence that the spouse puts in you. The lie is already betrayal!

Jesus says: “The truth will set you free” (Jn 8:32). And it is in this perspective that our relationship can mature and become fertile: when the person can trust in the other, certain of that the other is always speaking the truth, that nothing remains hidden, for that is not good.

Therefore, the first step is to decide for the truth and for your truth. It is in this that God can act and that thing are taking the certain route of building a happy life.

A tip for today: Break with the sin of lying in your relationship. Decide to speak and live always in the truth, in the light, in the grace of God.

That the Lord bless you in this work!

Deacon Paulo Lourenço

translated from Portuguese

Mar 232011

Lord my God, in our marriage, we promised each other to be faithful for all our lives and all was before you altar, there was the priest, our best man and maid of honor as witnesses, our family, our invited guests, despite all of this… my husband was unfaithful.

I remain shocked, furious, I feel insulted, humiliated, devastated and inconsolable. I don’t know what I can do now? Do I fight, scream, do I hurt, do I separate or ask for divorce? It is as if a bomb exploded before me. I saw the collapse of my interior castle, my confidence, my assurance, my will to live, I even lost all will to be a woman, and of living my family life. It appears that I lost all feeling, I am empty  mixed with despair, anger, hatred, in the miserable mixture of love and hate.

It is the worst of feelings, Lord, I remain imagining when Judas betrayed you, he was unfaithful to you, also when Peter denied you three times, I would like to have in my heart the same love that you have, the same compassion, but I am so broken, I am in great need of your grace for this moment so painful in my life. I need your strength to not fall into vengeance and payback, or throwing all in the sky and disappearing.

I am reminded of this unfortunate incident as adultery, as prostitution with my husband, even to destroying my marriage, thinking that he is going to be happy? Thinking that destroying a home is going to be happy? Not seeing that he is starting a relationship completely wrong and destructive. Give me grace, Lord, of knowing how to pardon this sadness, this indignity, for perhaps she was deceived by my own husband pretending to be single, in this case both were betrayed.

If we decide not to separate, I will live in the mistrust of every phone call, email, overtime, or even for whatever motive that he arrives late in house. How am I going to move forward, how am I going to kiss him, or even have a sexual relationship with him? I know that it will not be as before, this mark will remain in my heart, even that I may forgive him, that I may reconcile with him, thus have my family, my friends, the persons that I invite in my house, I know that I am going to receive a lot counseling, including some that I may separate and be more faithful to God that I forgive…give me Lord this grace of the best decision.

If it is necessary that I seek counsel with my priest and if my husband wants to go as well, in order that together we may discover that we may hear what went wrong that this happened and that we may be able, after this, to reconstruct our life together.

Come Lord illuminate our decisions. But if he refuses? Perhaps I can go alone and the priest counselor can indicate to me a road to follow or to a support group. I want to leave the door open for reconciliation. I want to think of my family before the hurt to my ego through infidelity. I want to open the doors of my heart to you Lord, that you know better the steps of forgiveness and of reconcilation, that you know to trust always, for in you there is no lack of trust, for your love is always in us, your bond and love never will be broken.

Give me confidence of your holy women, of the virtuous women that enriched their house and home. Expel from my house, from my family all evil spirits of adultery and prostitution, I do not want this evil in my house, but that my home may be blessed and fill with grace.

From the blog of Father Vager Baia

translated from Portuguese

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